Just a dream

If there is one thing I know I learned from this World, it’s that we’re always trying to see ourselves through the eyes of someone else. Everything about us is defined by someone else’s mindset. And as much as we want to pretend like it doesn’t faze us, it still does and denying it doesn’t make it any less true. But why is it that other’s opinion is so damn important to every last one of us? Why do we feel the need to categorize every thing and everyone? Why is it so important to put a label on everything? Well the answer is pretty easy actually. Putting a label on something defines the way you’ll treat it. Object. You can use it and throw it when you’re done. Animal. Small being to which you choose to show respect but will always be considered lower than you, in fact it is weird even comparing the two. Human. Someone with dignity to whom you should show respect. Right? But it doesn’t always work that way. See, the world cannot work in chaos so we create rules and laws. Why? Because we...

For a long time I thought that getting drunk was about forgetting everything, feeling numb for a while. Being able to silence your mind seems to be appealing to lots of people, but to me silencing my mind also meant silencing my whole existence. I’m not ready to do that. As much as owning up to everything scares the living light out of me, running away from them means running away from myself and I don’t think I have given up just yet on being happy. You know what sucks the most about being drunk? Feeling like shit. I won’t lie, I don’t remember half of it but you know what I do remember? The state I was trying to run away from by drinking, the emptiness I feared so much is what welcomed me as soon as I crossed that line. I can’t remember what I said or what I did but I do remember that I felt what I was afraid to feel; emptiness.