Love is over rated

It is not a surprise that people can be hella scary. You never know what’s going through someone’s mind. They could be murderers, rapists, psychos, sociopaths and the list goes on. But you see, in my opinion, the scariest people aren’t the ones who threaten you, or abuse you. The scariest people are the ones who make you forget who you are. Those people with whom you feel like you can do anything without ever having to think of the consequences. These are the people to fear because by the time you’ve remembered again who you were you’re someone you never thought you could be. 

“I used to recognize myself, it’s funny how reflection changes. When we’re becoming something else I thinks it’s time to walk away” James Bay.

We sometimes meet those people that seem to make life worth living for a while, those rare people we actually picture a future with. Those people you can’t even remember meeting or getting close enough with to put your heart out there and trust them with everything you have, those people are simultaneously the most amazing people and the most dangerous ones. See, this ability they have to infiltrate our hearts and thoughts can be very comforting but it can also be scary as hell.  Because the only people that can hurt us, the ones that can really hurt us are the ones close enough to do it. These people they get inside you, they tear you apart and they make you feel like you’ll never recover. But sometimes that’s what we need. We need the pain to remind us we’re alive because if our hearts can be broken it means that they’re still working. And so all this bullshit we hear about being careful who we trust our heart with is nothing but that; bullshit. I don’t remember falling in love with you. I just remember holding your hand and realizing how much it was going to hurt when I would have to let it go but it was already too late. Once you start loving someone it is a real pain in the ass to stop loving them. Matter of fact, I don’t think it’s even possible to “stop loving someone”. Nah, love isn’t that simple, it’s not something you can just turn on and off whenever you feel like it. It takes time to build and it takes a lot more time to make it disappear.
Sometimes it’s the simple seemingly meaningless routines that disappear first and it’s what makes you realize that once again you got attached too fast, that you were mistaken your feelings for theirs and honestly all it takes is a sour mood and it’s like a slap in your face. Lately it’s been feeling like I need wake up calls from everyone just to remind me that hey maybe I don’t deserve to be happy, maybe I’m not as awesome as I’d like to think I am.

Just a lost soul trying to find its way


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