Hakuna Matata

Has it ever happened to you to be sat down and have a sudden realization that you don't know who you are anymore? Maybe you're studying for a biology exam that's coming up soon or just watching a movie about a kid who discovered a new world through a closet and suddenly you're faced with this god awful truth that what ever you're doing, you're doing through the eyes of someone else. As if you were nothing but a bystander of your own life. You can't remember how or when you've gotten to the point where the person that stares back at you in the mirror is nothing but a stranger. You put on your smile every morning with care just as others are applying their make up to start their day. It's as if nothing feels right anymore and even if it did, you're too caught up in your pretending to notice. You do everything in your power to make sure no one notices how broken you feel, and when you get home you feel like shit because you've succeeded. See the thing is that you probably forgot that the world doesn't revolve around you. Your forget that while you were busy putting up a wall, others were doing the same. You forget that the world doesn't owe you anything and that if you really wanted to be happy you should work for it.

When I was younger, I used to put on a mask every single day, fooling everyone around me that I was the happiest, goofiest person they've ever met. Meanwhile, I would do absolutely nothing to actually feel happy. I was so caught up with pretending to be happy, with putting up an image the world could see me with that I forgot to actually be happy. I convinced myself that what I was going through was so horrible for me to even think about fixing myself. Until one day I was visiting colleges and I saw a quote on a wall. It said "You're unique. Just like everyone else". To this day this quote never leaves my head. I think about it every chance I get. That's when I realized that I was probably not the only one hiding behind her lies. I was not the only one who preferred staying unhappy because it was easier than getting my ass up and doing something about it. So I started writing. It became my escape, my way to fight for happiness. Did it solve my problems? Hell no. But at least I was doing something. And slowly I started noticing that my smile wasn't fake anymore, it was genuine. I started noticing the smell of coffee, the beauty of nature, the authenticity of some people. I realized that yes, most of us are shit excuses of human beings but it doesn't mean we have to stop fighting for our happiness. Being happy doesn't mean you're on cloud nine and that suddenly all your worries disappeared. Happiness isn't "Hakuna Matata". Happiness is learning to live with your worries and make the best out of it, for the rest of your life. Stop blaming the world for your own mistakes. If you want to be happy than be it. No matter how hard it is, nothing is more important than this. So be as happy and live as fully as you can. After all, you only get to do it once.

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