Drunk


For a long time I thought that getting drunk was about forgetting everything, feeling numb for a while. Being able to silence your mind seems to be appealing to lots of people, but to me silencing my mind also meant silencing my whole existence. I’m not ready to do that. As much as owning up to everything scares the living light out of me, running away from them means running away from myself and I don’t think I have given up just yet on being happy. You know what sucks the most about being drunk? Feeling like shit. I won’t lie, I don’t remember half of it but you know what I do remember? The state I was trying to run away from by drinking, the emptiness I feared so much is what welcomed me as soon as I crossed that line. I can’t remember what I said or what I did but I do remember that I felt what I was afraid to feel; emptiness. 

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